First date: Big Spoon's take, part II - the date

We agreed to meet for dinner on Monday at 7:00p. I thought that Little Spoon had just called in sick that day because she didn't feel like going in to work that day; only much later did I realize that she was actually not feeling well. Perhaps that belief was partly due to the fact that she looked gorgeous when I saw her sitting outside the restaurant. I remember thinking that she looked even better than her pictures, and apparently my dumbstruckness registered briefly on my face, though Little Spoon didn't know what my initial reaction was about until we reminisced about that night months later.

The odd look quickly passed from my face, and I walked up to her. I don't remember the awkwardness of the first contact that she does, but knowing me and the ambiguity I always felt about hugging/handshaking/not doing anything on first meeting a woman, it doesn't surprise me. We talked easily enough throughout dinner. The bulk of the conversation I remember from that part of the date surrounded our past relationships and the size of her family. My family is the ultimate tritium nuclear family (with me as the proton and my parents as the neutrons), whereas hers is like some sort of complex radioactive chain reaction of large groups. Yes, I know that one is typically not supposed to talk relationship history on the first date. Yes, it felt natural to both of us to continue that topic of conversation - which was a good sign that rule could be broken safely.

After dinner (around 9:30p), I knew that I didn't want the night to end yet, but I also hadn't had any nice, unambiguous signals that she was interested (or disinterested) in physical contact. Fortunately, as we exited the restaurant, Mother Nature provided me with a helpful, stiff breeze that penetrated her relatively wispy white coat and gave me the perfect excuse to put my arm around her waist and rub her back. I believe I drove us over to Cafe Coco a few blocks away. We talked a good amount about music (I remember her showing me her phone's ability to return a song title and artist from a brief sample of the ambient atmosphere). I also worked my hand surreptitiously closer to hers and toward her leg, and she seemed to welcome the advance.

We left Cafe Coco at around 1:00a, but we weren't finished talking. We kept up our dialog in my car until 3:00a, our hands intertwining and breaking naturally every so often. I remember remarking a couple of times that we should really go home, but neither of us seemed to be able to break away. We energized each other, and it was clear that we couldn't get enough of each other. Finally, we realized we had to get some semblance of sleep to function the next day. She confirmed my invitation to a Halloween party that her friend was throwing on Friday, but I was still scheming to think of ways to see her before then as we drove out of the Tangredi's parking lot...

First Date

Little Spoon's story:

Our initial contact began a week before our first date, via this dating site. Yes, those things really do happen! Within an hour of my signing up on the site, Big Spoon sent an email that was, comparatively speaking, much more engaging than others I had received. He paid close attention to what I had written on my profile and with each subsequent email, never failed to pique my interest in him.

After a week of writing and chatting, we arranged a date. I actually ended up sick that Monday and didn't go to work. I was still feeling under the weather and contemplated canceling the date. My roommate insisted that I go and have fun.

Obviously, I'm happy I went. I owe said ex-roommate a debt of gratitude.

Big Spoon and I met on October 27, 2008. We agreed to meet in West End at Tangredi's Italian Kitchen for dinner. I was early, he was on time. I wore a brown button down blouse and jeans and a vintage rain coat. He was in his business casual shirt & slacks and a black coat. That first hug/handshake/thingy was a bit awkward, but we quickly recovered and started chirping like two birds that hadn't seen each other in years.

The first thing I noticed about Big Spoon was his smile. He has big, handsome (I can't say pretty, can I?) smile that makes you want to hug him all the time. Secondly, I realized that he was much more attractive in person than the pictures I had seen of him.

Dinner turned into coffee at Cafe Coco and a 3am chat in the car. 8 HOURS from our first hello, we finally said goodnight. No goodnight kiss, but he put his arm around me earlier when I was cold..

I left feeling really good about the fact that he didn't kiss me, though. I'm not sure why, it just felt more like a promise than a holding back of some sort.

First date: Big Spoon's take, part I - the prelude

Sometimes you just need to say OK to Cupid. I had relatively good luck finding dates on that site, but I never found anyone who seemed compatible. Mind you, it wasn't because anyone was truly weird (that honor goes to some of the women on Craigslist); there just wasn't that ineffable spark that kept me (or her) interested.

Until Little Spoon decided to post a profile.

After my last series of dates that ended up not working out, I was about to check out of the dating scene for the next couple of months when I saw a new profile show up one Sunday night. An artsy girl with an interesting backstory and a set of beliefs that meshed well with my own compelled an initial email from me. I did my best to strike a fun but interested tone, referencing a few things about her profile and asking a couple of questions in a few relatively short paragraphs. Happily, she responded, and our emails to each other grew progressively longer.

Soon enough, we started chatting on the site, and I remember a conversation on Saturday morning lasting for hours in which we explored our philosophies, life histories, and a couple of arcane statistical points. We only left off because I had to get ready for friends coming over, and she was preparing to go back to her parents' for the weekend. We exchanged numbers, and it was hard to keep my mind on the game my friends and I were playing because I wanted very much to give her a ring and keep up the conversation.

The next day, we chatted on the phone. She has a great phone voice, and we talked off and on for hours. By the end of the evening, I asked her out for dinner the next day. We figured out where we would go and when we would meet, and I was left giddy with anticipation. I felt a distinct tingle of anticipation, but I'd been disappointed enough times previously on first dates not to trust that the connection would continue in person. Then again, I'd never seen anyone with such nice collarbones before...