Wednesday, September 02, 2009


The process of combining stuff is potentially a difficult one, especially if both of you have lived separate lives for a while and have the household accoutrements to prove it. Many of Little Spoon's things are remaining in storage for the time being, though her cooking implements have certainly found a welcome place in the kitchen.

However, we seem to have our own reasons for resisting the unpacking and reassortment of the remainder of her belongings that haven't made the house their home. From her perspective, getting used to the idea of occupying so much more space seems perversely overwhelming, as it's always been easier for her to have a place for everything and everything in its place when there were far fewer places to store everything. She's also wanted to be respectful of where I've placed my things in the various closets, so she's been hesitant to move around my paraphernalia. Finally, she's also sometimes loathe to unpack when she sees other household tasks as demanding her attention, too.

I've been content to let things remain unpacked, too; however, my reasons are somewhat different. Part of it is the feeling that I'm giving up my house - that somehow my own autonomy is threatened by joining our possessions. In a way it is, but in what will ultimately be a good way. I'm having to relinquish the safety of having everything my way, of the convenience of being able to dictate how things are (or should stay the same) in favor of a collaborative decorating enterprise. I hadn't counted on how strongly merging belongings would affect me, but it is a symbol of the upcoming union of our lives. It's another challenge in growing together that forces us to confront our emotions and deal with them as a couple as best we can.

Here's hoping that it ends up being a truly mutual experience, rather than feeling like one of us is swamping the other into a collective of sorts :)

1 comment:

  1. I'm enjoying the process of merging our belongings, but you know about me and my lack of patience. I think I simply have too much stuff! I certain feel as though I've made a positive stride in the right direction on it all tonight. Thank you for help me :) I love you, Big Spoon!