What this post should really be titled is "I am so sick of this shit!"
After some discussion based on the information I've been able to gather, Big Spoon and I decided that we would have a friend perform our ceremony and we'd just head to the county clerk's office on Monday after our wedding to have a civil ceremony. As our friend Will put it - married in the eyes of us and our friends on Sunday, married in the eyes of the law on Monday.
Oh, but wait, we can't do that either!
Firstly, the Davidson County clerk is so popular that he only performs ceremonies on Friday. I need to call back a few weeks before our wedding to schedule an appointment. It's just too early. It's March!
Secondly, the Sumner County clerk doesn't perform ceremonies AT ALL. Their county executive does and I have to call another number to schedule an appointment.
Thanks, I guess. I'll give it a shot.
Thirdly, the Wilson County clerk (which is out of our way) DOES perform ceremonies in the office on whatever day we want. They just ask for a $30 donation. And an appointment. I explained to this person what was going on since it seemed like our best and closest option. He didn't understand the "why" and "what" only that we wanted to get married in his office in October. Call back later, he says. It's only March!
I get it, I get it ... I knew that we'd need an appointment. That's cool. Awesome. What I didn't realize is that my tax dollars don't get me the weekday of my choosing in the county in which I live. In all honesty, the whole "it's too early" thing doesn't surprise me considering its the State and what happened with Two Rivers Mansion.
I'm so insanely frustrated right now that I just don't know what to do next.
What I won't do is wait until September and count on one of these people being able to squeeze us in. I'm sorry - been there, done that. If you can't schedule me now, I'll find an alternative solution.
Tenn. Code Ann. 36-3-301