Saturday, September 25, 2010

14 Days or 2 Weeks

We're here. In two weeks,we'll be husband and wife. It's a really powerful thing to think about.

Big Spoon and I managed to sneak in some quality time tonight between work and wedding. We reflected on how people keep asking us if we are excited and to be honest, the answer is "not really." We are both feeling the same thing, but afraid to say to the other "I'm tired of this wedding." But, we really, truly are. There is so much drama, stress and anxiety surrounding planning an event this large and important that it surprises me more couples don't elope.

I know over the past month or so, I've wished a few times or more that we had done just that.

What helps is knowing that amidst all this chaos, we both know that it's just a wedding and our marriage is important. Big Spoon said "I want my future wife back." And I said on someone else's blog yesterday "I just want my life back."

How strange that such a wonderful, joyous event could bring out those emotions just weeks before it happens. It's true that I am hugely, personally invested in how this event goes, how things look and what people think. But it's much more important to me that instead of insisting I keep working on the thank you notes or organizing the decorations, we sat for an hour or more and talked about things. Sometimes, I'd rather do that than anything else in the world.

He knows that I know the wedding is an obsession at this point, but I also know he knows that I try hard to not make it the only thing. We still talk, still play with our kittens, still go out to eat. And guess what? We'll do all those things and more after the wedding.

And we are so ready for the day after the wedding. The day of freedom. No more pressure, no more expectations other than those of our marriage and life together. It's a wonderful thing to think about.

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