5 Days

I'm at home sick today and while making my lunch, I thought I would talk about this last week before the wedding.

I feel ... weird.

I don't know how to explain it. Obviously, I want the wedding day to hurry up and get here, but I want it to slow down too. I want more time to write my vows and I want my nails to stop breaking. I want more time to spend with Big Spoon this week and I want to know what he's thinking/feeling.

We're both so busy. So, so busy and I finally managed to make myself sick with stress. 

On the positive side, I feel really great about our wedding. With everything completed, I can finally see how it will all come together and I'm proud of mine and Big Spoon's efforts in planning our wedding day. It's been a roller coaster, sure, but I'm glad he was along for the ride and taking an active role in the decision making process. I love him for it.

I'm feeling a little disconnected with my family, however. I haven't seen my sisters/bridesmaids since my bridal shower in August. They couldn't make it to my Bachelorette Brunch and I guess with creating a new family, there is a certain amount of falling away from one's own to make way for the new.

I feel like Big Spoon and I have already done that, to an extent. We have started a little family that consists of me, him and our two baby cats. Our home feels like home. He feels like home. I fully anticipate feeling different after the wedding ... feeling more connected after we say our vows and promises.