Expect the Unexpected

If you are planning a wedding, my biggest piece of advice to you is to expect the unexpected (and budget for it).

Someone important may be unable to be present. People you didn't necessarily think to include get their feelings hurt over not being invited. A parent dies. You lose your job. You forgot to budget for your wedding bands. Shit happens and it sucks, but this is good practice for the rest of one's life.

To be sure, Big Spoon and I have had our share of little crises over the course of our engagement, but over the past few weeks, I've run into a major dilemma with the guest list: How do you tell friends and family you weren't planning on inviting them? Do you? Or do you invite them thinking they won't come? Do you still invite them to the bridal shower? What about new friends? Where do you draw the line?

Damn those save-the-dates! That was my worst idea EVER. Not only do I now have to invite everyone who received a SD card, I have no control over that part of the guest list, because trust me, I would love to cut it down by 30 people or so. I thought I was doing so good with the guest list ... until now.

So, here we are with a 128 person guest list (that includes us) for a 125 person wedding reception. We're currently $300 over budget, and that is for 100 people. Every time I turn around, someone is wanting me to add someone to it. Some days, I really want to cut everyone out but our immediate family and closest friends. Which, in hindsight is what Big Spoon wanted anyway and I wouldn't couldn't cut down the family list.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

Someone from work (who planned her daughter's wedding) told me to only expect a 60% turn-out. She said that I should invite more people and we'd still be okay, but I'm just not sure about that. I'm trying to trouble shoot ... do we go back to the caterer and try to get a lower per person quote? Do we call all our guests and tell them there are no kiddies allowed? Or do I just ignore people? Do I need to cut people to add people? How should I stagger the RSVP dates if I wanted to send out additional last-minute invites?

Somebody help!

"Little" Giveaway Ends Thursday!

Hey there blog readers, don't forget the deadline to enter out little giveaway is Thursday! Go check it out and win yourself a box of goodies.

Tuxedo shopping

Little Spoon and I went shopping for my tuxedo for the wedding today. She had made an appointment for us to go to The Men's Wearhouse to follow up on a deposit she put down that would let me get a free suit with five paid tuxedo rentals. She had already selected a nice ensemble (a one-button notched lapel tuxedo) that would give a minimal hit to the pocketbooks of our wedding account, groomsmen, and dads. Thus, all I had to do was figure out the colors I wanted. The person who took our order and my measurements was nice and helpful; once she got to us, it was a smooth and easy process.

That's what went right. Unfortunately, there were also a few hitches in our giddyup.

First, we had unwittingly made our appointment during the height of prom season. Our first clue about our inauspicious timing was the sight of a couple of prom goers tricking out with their tuxes. When I stepped through the doors, I was greeted by a flood of high school aged men swarming the counters. A couple of soon-to-be grooms were also there, but we were mere ripples in the sea of younguns.

Second, when it came time to talk ties, I also went on an old assumption that a preference for an ivory tie Little Spoon for me months ago still held true. Instead of asking her whether she still wanted me to stand out that way, I just assumed that it was and proceeded apace. I thought I was being the dutiful groom and compromising on the tie color after insisting on having tuxedos, but I was wrong. She now prefers black ties all around; I'll instead be set apart with the pocket square made of material we used for my Edgar Allan Poe tie on our third date. After getting back from the fitting, we talked about the tie color - it turns out Little Spoon went along with the ivory only because I seemed to acquiesce to the salesperson's preferences.

Now that we've clarified that I'll be in a black tie, we'll need to call the store back to correct the color. It's not a big deal, but it's a minor point that could have been clarified with better communication. Alas, the irritation I felt at being swarmed by prom guys made me struggle to wait my turn patiently instead of talking productively about the ensemble with Little Spoon.

Sometimes, you've gotta keep talking, even when you don't wanna.

Wedding Stationery Part 1: Wedding Map

Lookie what I did! We now have a wedding map to include with our invitation. I'm going to print our wedding website and parking instructions on the back. This is a quick project; good DIY instructions available here.