Thursday, September 01, 2011

Our Wedding: There's No Such Thing As Perfect

From my perspective, almost every bride's wedding story has a hiccup or two, a few wedding-related regrets or things she might change if there were a magic time machine. I am no exception. If you aren't that bride - nothing you would change about your big day - consider yourself very lucky.

I did the interesting and frustrating dance of post-wedding blues, got over it and moved on to my married life. But, there was one thing about our wedding day that kept bothering me and I thought that I should write about it. After many long, deep discussions with Big Spoon and some encouragement from blogger friends, I drafted the post with every intention of spilling all the dirty details about why Nashville brides shouldn't hire my photographer.

I was poised to post it this very weekend, to break the long silence our blog has experienced.

And then I read this post by Avalon on Budget Savvy Bride.

A freaking hurricane curtailed every plan she had made for her wedding day, except one - she got married to the man she loves despite everything else falling apart. There is no doubt in my mind that she (and he) were seriously disappointed by how the wedding turned out, but there is also no doubt in my mind that she is a pragmatic woman who knows the difference between a wedding and a marriage.

I encourage you to go read this post. I don't recall anything as drastic as this during the Nashville floods, although I'm sure it happened to many a May bride, whether it was a reschedule, missing guest, missing vendors or maybe a cancellation. I don't know, but I read this post about this real couple and it broke my heart.

Avalon's post made me feel thankful and ashamed at the same time. Looking at the big picture, my wedding day was perfect. Not a hitch and exceptionally good weather. Someone else's experience won't ever change the way our photographer made me feel on our wedding day, but it sure did put me in a different frame of mind.

It's true that I didn't feel the way I expected to feel on our wedding day, but I feel like I've processed that fully at this point. I've grieved for my single self and take a great deal of joy in my life as a married woman. Other people caused me a great deal of stress on our wedding day and I allowed my expectations to get stomped on a little bit. That will never change, but my attitude can.

It really is all about the marriage. Big Spoon and I are coming up on our one year anniversary in about 40 days. It's been a great year, albeit with a great deal of changes for us on the horizon, but it's been a wonderful start to what I hope is a lifetime of happiness for us.

Thank you, Avalon, for sharing your story with the world and congratulations on your marriage. I feel a lot less inclined to self-indulgent bitching now after being reminded that much worse things happen to people who don't deserve them.

*If there are any Nashville brides who would like to discuss any of our wedding vendors, please feel free to drop us a line.

1 comment:

  1. I love this post. Very graceful, yet you still got to say the most important part of the post you wrote and never published. So happy for you. And I'm with you - I might change a thing or two, but we're still married and I know I'm blessed!